Saturday, September 15, 2011

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I’m finding this very hard to write and I’ve had a difficult time the past few days.  We were so proud of our little cat Youbou, who had been making marvellous progress in being able to move his lame leg, with the assistance of acupuncture.  He rarely needed to have Prednisone for the ailment since the treatments began.

Was it a year ago or so when dh noticed that Youbou was limping up the driveway?  And he wasn’t able to walk.

We took him for all kinds of tests and nothing was found that would have caused this.  He just wasn’t able to move his right leg and just dragged himself around.  When we started the acupuncture, we saw such an immediate improvement.  Suddenly he was racing around the house . . a very happy little cat.  And the day when he was able to push open the kitchen door was a proud moment indeed.

Our life was settled into a routine and once a month I would take him for his acupuncture treatment.  This would continue for a long time, I thought.  However, life had a way of changing that story and in the wee hours of Wednesday last, we were awakened by the sounds of howling from the kitchen and there we found Youbou in the throes of a major seizure.  I quickly bundled him up and we drove to the nearby veterinary hospital.

They immediately looked after him and once he was examined, we were able to visit with him.  We were advised of the state of his condition and learned that such seizures were not normal in cats.  Leaving him in their expert care, we returned home.  All this took place in about half an hour.

A few hours of sleep and a few calls to the veterinarian in charge and we went to the hospital to see if we could visit with him.  He was given the best care and the young assistants took such good care of him, monitoring his condition constantly.

By this point, he was not in good shape and we learned that he had been like this for hours and so we made the decision to end his pain.  It was not taken lightly, this decision.  But seeing how he was suffering so badly, it was inhumane to let him continue  in such a terrorized state, we were able to end that in a peaceful way.  He would not have recovered to his normal way of life.

We were taken to a little room where Youbou was brought in and we said our goodbyes as the good doctor gently administered the final medication.

Inconsolable am I.   I’ve spent hours going through my photos and am sharing some happy memories.

I’ve dealt with pet loss over the years, as has everyone else.  But the sudden unexpectedness of this has hit me pretty hard.

Youbou’s “older” brother, Duncan is lost and is continuously going to the places that they shared, looking and looking.  He’ll sit in his sofa and look over at Y’s .. but he’s not there.  JaneE looks lost.  Every morning and every suppertime, Y and J were like bookends .. each looking through their side of the kitchen french door.   His little noseprints are still there ..

I know this is part of life, but sometimes I think it might be better to not have the capacity for love … as the loss just rips away at my heart.

We are spending more comfort time with Duncan and JaneE .. they didn’t have a chance to say their goodbyes to Youbou, it just wasn’t possible.

And I know this will pass.  But for now .. I am just struggling through the pain.  We all miss him so very much .. he was only 8 years old … and I thought we had many more years together.  All of our pets live long and happy lives with us, they are treasured members of the family.

So goodbye little Youbou .. we loved you so very much and always will.